top 15 signs we're losing the war on drugs

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Thursday, 15-Mar-2007 23:51:11

The Top 15 Signs We're Losing the War on Drugs


15> "Mom, can I have $10 for the marching band's meth sale?"

14> Your state's senators: Marion Barry and Cheech Marin.

13> According to the nightly news, far more people are killed
by drugs than drugs are killed by people.

12> The latest drug legislation to pass the Senate was written
on Zig Zags.

11> Your neighborhood is full of 98-pound moms with spotless
houses.

10> The lunch lady's change belt now dispenses the three R's:
roofies, reefer and Ritalin.

9> Coca Cola's newest product: Coke Coke.

8> Sometimes it seems as though poor Keith Richards is fighting
it all by himself.

7> Isn't that Nancy Reagan drinking Crystal and smoking a blunt
in Snoop's new video?

6> Sent to the principal's office for getting caught with crack,
your kid emerges a half hour later and skips school to make
a bank deposit.

5> The new Teen Talk Barbie proclaims: "Cooking meth is hard!"

4> It used to be that secretive, adulterous liaisons like that
between Reverend Ted Haggard and his man-whore didn't
involve drug abuse.

3> President Bush proposes a surge of pharmacists to stabilize
Colombia.

2> A box of Thin Mints now has a street value of $40 and little
Suzy has pimped her Schwinn.


and the Number 1 Sign We're Losing the War on Drugs...


1> In addition to products with pseudoephedrine, pharmacies now
require picture ID for products with Echinacea, folic acid,
glucosamine, chondroitin, vitamin C, FD&C yellow #5, xantham
gum and lark's vomit.

Post 2 by blbobby (Ooo you're gona like this!) on Sunday, 18-Mar-2007 16:26:10

<lol> These are good.
Lark's vomit? yuck!
Bob

Post 3 by guitargod1 (I'm going for the prolific poster awards!) on Sunday, 18-Mar-2007 21:54:37

very funny! and the larks vomit thing is a monty python reference from the candy sketch. i forget it's actual name. I think it's on the live at the hollywood bowl record.